Really doped up on painkillers, drinking chocolate milk and researching Scientology all while thinking about how once again I’m completely enamoured with someone who I fucking despise. I can sigh at every stupid fucking word to come out of her mouth and I can lie there, not saying anything just listening to her ramble shit for hours and be utterly content with life for a moment. Maybe it’s when she described herself as just like me, that fucking broke me. Ugh god fucking damn it and I thought skipping school to be a junkie was a low point.
Realised I haven’t used tumblr in a while then I remembered I only went on tumblr to make miserable posts then reblog things to space those posts. I haven’t done this in a while because I’ve been happy for a while. But over the last week I’ve been been drinking alone a lot and I’m gonna start smoking weed again tonight (which will probably turn out bad for me) and I’m lonely and I hate myself.